The best bike I've ever owned

...is also the crappiest bike I've ever owned. It has backpedal brakes. It has two gears, which you change by backpedalling, which means that it changes gears every time you brake. All the chrome bits are rusted. It squeaks when you pedal, and clicks when you don't. It is too tall for me. It has a big, very non-aerodynamic crate strapped to the front for the dog to ride in. It used to have mudflaps, but they fell off. The entire bike is worth less than the two locks I use to lock it up at night.

I absolutely love it.